By Paul Blase
There’s a saying I’ve been pondering lately. Something that I feel everyone’s heard but often misunderstands.
“Fake it till you make it.”
It’s fairly easy to imagine what this means. In the music world, it’s possible to buy views, likes, comments, and shares on various social media platforms. In this regard, musicians may try to make themselves seem bigger or more important than they really are until someone takes notice. We often see “influencers” on Instagram and TikTok posing with someone else’s Lamborghini, Louis Vuitton bag, fake jewelry, or other material items until they gain sponsorships or access to exclusive events. These are all examples of how we usually view that term, and to be fair, they are 100% accurate and valid. However-
I choose to see it in a different and much more constructive light. Every single day, a lot of us have to fake it til we make it. We may have to deal with our shitty bosses (and sometimes equally shitty jobs). We may have to smile in front of our children despite not knowing how to pay the light bill this month. We may have to be supportive of our significant other as they accomplish great things, while questioning our own achievements.
We just have to fake it til we make it. We have to suck up our own insecurities and problems while trying to overcome life’s obstacles. We push ourselves so hard every single day that sometimes we forget to stop and smell the roses. Everybody is dealing with issues, and you know what? We’ll overcome it. We always do, no matter how dire the situation. It’s a matter of choosing to push forward because the better and brighter things in life will come.
My whole adult life has been plagued by the anxiety of having to explain my legal situation from over a decade ago. There have been girls that I’ve begun to date who ghost me or end things because they’ve found out about my criminal past without context. I’ve been denied jobs, housing, and you name it. Somehow, someway, I just faked it till I made it. It eventually got easier. That’s a mixture of a lot of things. It’s learning to “play the game.” When I was on probation, I fought like hell to maintain my innocence. Eventually, I realized that it was all a power trip and that my probation, the judges, everyone just wanted to bow down to them and validate what they accused me of. The minute I did, the random drug tests went away. Restrictions went away. I only had to visit every three months. My probation officer signed off on things I didn’t complete because I had “shown improvement.” With that, I was discharged a year early and could pick up where I left off, maintaining my innocence. After all these years, I’ve become able to articulate myself and explain where I come from, explain how this one thing doesn’t even begin to define who I am as a person, what I’ve accomplished in the face of adversity, or what I have yet to accomplish.
Although that phase of my life has mostly passed, there’s still so much adversity that I face on the daily. Lord knows my custody battle with my ex drains me mentally and emotionally most days. I end up in tears so often, just watching videos of my little monkey and longing for the next time I get to see him and hold him. This week alone, I broke up with my girlfriend. I totaled my beloved Audi Q5 during a snowstorm. Then, two days later, they broke into my beater car. I’ve missed out on income, and I’m faced with the uncertainty of how this is all going to play out. Yet here I am, still smiling. Still optimistic in the face of adversity, knowing damn well that it is 100% out of my control, and my situation has me up the creek without a paddle and a hole in the raft. Faking it til I make it to the next chapter of my life.
I never really consider myself an optimist. I’ve always been quite pragmatic and face reality head-on. I don’t hold it against people that are overly positive or optimistic. After all, if you’re gonna go through something, you might as well try to make the best of it. Conversely, I can’t really blame people for being pissed off and pessimistic about things. Sometimes when it rains, it pours. It certainly isn’t fun going through an onslaught of life’s bullshit, and people have every right to be upset about it. I won’t judge them for it.
What’s most important, however, is the fact that you’re getting through it. You’re pushing on and getting your ducks in a row and getting past whatever nonsense comes your way. The next day is gonna come regardless; you might as well be there for it. Be content with what you have or don’t have until you reach the next level of your life. Be happy; be sad. It doesn’t matter. Just be real.
I’ll conclude with this– when someone asks me if I’m a glass half full or glass half empty kind of guy, I always say the same thing:
It depends.
Are we drinking it, or are we staring at it?
