Hope Come Through

By Paula S. Robin 

“This One’s for You” 

I had nothing to lose, and I lost it anyway. I knew I would have to swallow my worst nightmares with laughter to continue breathing. When you let your hope float, like a buoy anchored in the ocean, you need to be secured to a permanent group of people. Hope, just like a buoy, serves as a connecting link between the vessel and the other anchors. Who are your anchors? To come through depression, one needs to be anchored in hope.  Sometimes hope is all we have, and to lose that is to lose it all. Hold on, R.E.M. has it right, hold on. Sometimes everything is wrong even in this most wonderful time of the year. Hope come through, sit down and stay. Make yourself at home in me, with me, and through me. 

’Tis the season to be jolly, fa la la la la la la la la.  Fa a long, long way to run. Someone’s using their Cajun accent correctly. In English, Fa is a syllable representing the fourth tone of the diatonic scale. The British have a different take on the word altogether. FA for them is an abbreviation for field artillery. Hit me with it if I have to hear this song one more time. Fa is a valid Scrabble word. For as long as I can remember, I have always thought of depression as an unnecessary deviation from normal or happy feelings. Now that I have known someone who truly battles her depression daily, I’m starting to see it as an important part of her biological defense system. 

We all have something to lose. Depression starts in the mind with distorted thinking. I am not an experienced expert. I am an observer. I’m also just a person writing on a blog page, so take this in with a grain of salt. Salt in the old days was more valuable than gold. Am I giving myself a backhanded compliment? My friend would ruminate, then become depressed. She would lie in bed for hours, and those hours turned into days. The darker the room was, the better. She became completely motionless. This behavior mocked death. I realized that something had to change, and I needed to be a part of that change. I needed to be an anchor, not a weight to those who suffer from depression and the stigma placed on it. When I (you) stigmatize people with depression, I (you) rob them of hope. That’s a fa long way to run Sha. Sha is my Louisiana Cajun slang coming out.   

My parents were born and raised in Acadiana, the northern part of “Cajun Country” in Louisiana. I was saturated with Cajun culture from birth. I can smell the gumbo. You might have sugar plums dancing in your head, I have Cajun’s toe thumping to Jolie Blonde. Music was my ancestor’s entertainment. After a week of harsh work, my family believed in a weekend of hard playing. I heard the lyrics of Jolie Blonde sung in the French language for the greater part of my life. It kicked off the celebrations.  When I heard the lyrics in English, I finally understood why my father loved this song. He had lost my mother once, and he never forgot. The last phrase is haunting. “Pretty blonde, to die would be nothing, it’s just staying in the ground for a long time, I don’t know what I’ll do if you don’t come back to me in Louisiana.” Like all songs and stories, there are different versions. This was the one my father sang whenever he and my mother were at odds. 

It is crucial to take care of yourself and your inner desires. It’s also important to play your song and live your story. It’s important to find happiness in what you do and in who you are. Otherwise, you will never get to fully experience life and live it abundantly. Waiting for the right circumstances to come along is a waste of precious time. Spending time complaining, instead of taking action, won’t get results. I am not talking only to the people with depression. I am writing to those of you who stigmatize depression, and those who support others that are depressed.  When your “person” has depression, it’s overwhelming for you. When it comes, it is demoralizing to everyone in its wake. Be humble. Ask how you can assist. Listen and hear to what’s being said or not said. Let them be still. You can’t search for them like a lighthouse searching over rough waters. Turn the light off. Let them float to safety. Be an anchor, hold down the fort for a few days. Don’t make it about you. Be still. Trust. 

Christmas brings joy and fear. That’s why we call it the blues. Sir Elton John knew about the blues. I think he might know about holiday blues, love-struck blues, and the other fifty shades of blue. The Christmas blues are a time of hope and joy and social tension. Christmas can make us feel over obligated and underappreciated. It can also make you feel loved like no other, and no love at all. It’s an in-your-face holiday. The Holiday is about love being brought into the world. Many see Christmas as a chance to reaffirm their faith. Some just want to be caught up in the merry. For me it is the most wonderful time of the year. For some, it is clear ideas based on fond memories, some good, some bad. Christmas brings out the controllers, the negative Nancy’s, the outsiders and the insiders, the secrets, and gossips, the over committed and underappreciated, the addicts and alcoholics, the engagements, and separations, the loyal and true and the betrayers dressed in blue. It’s a mixed bag. Be gentle. Be intentional. Be kind.